What Do You Want From Me

Submission. I believe I’m smart. I lack in productivity but makeup for it in diction, in short; I’m smart but too lazy to show it. Along with being lazy, and smart I’m also trusting. I trust everybody with everything; if a man on the streets gave me a pill I would take it without question. Like I said; I’m smart.

                Now to think if I could trust a stranger that much, I must really trust the people I actually know. Now trusting people is both a curse and a gift. With my curse, I have fell through many relationships and been hurt by many ‘close friends’. With my gift, I have built strong, long lasting friendships. After years of being lied to, let down, and simply taken advantage of I have formed a fear. A fear that I feed and let grow in hope of it curing my curse but only ending up with constant … well fear. When faced with a similar situation our brain quickly runs through its most recent decisions, it prods at thoughts and wearily reaches to open new doors to new opportunities. We go through all the mistakes we made last time and try to sweep them up and recycle them into a beautiful masterpiece only to find there are always faults in thoughts, and decisions.

                Multiple times I have been faced with the same situation; trust. I have decided nobody is upfront. Nobody comes to you for the first time, completely themselves. So now all we can do is hope they want something we have. And if not, then

be submissive and trust yourself out of fear.

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