The absence of personality

My back hurts from sleeping on couches & mattresses that don’t belong to me

The bare walls of the bedroom across the hall haunted me for months, a premonition into my future

I want you to be able to see me in my room even when I’m not there, not just because my t-shirts are spilling out of the dressers but because my disposition is reflected in the dim lighting, my state of mind at the time is apparent based on how cluttered the floor becomes

When I’m away from the me that exists inside, I start to feel like I am the barren walls, the big light is shining through me and everybody can see how void I am of the personality I have strategically built over the last 22 years